Goal! By Thorin Oakenshield

With the FIFA World Cup about to kick off I thought this might be an excellent idea for a bit of Middle Earth trivia about football.
 
For those of you outraged at the very idea that I dare mention football and Middle Earth in the same sentence… this bit of trivia might just give you a shocker.
 
Did you know that football was around in Middle Earth?
 
Poppycock I hear you say. No, I couldn’t be more serious, it was… furthermore, it was known to the dwarves… and I quote from the Hobbit, Chapter 4 Over Hill and Under Hill:
 
“This won’t do at all!” said Thorin. “If we don’t get blown off or drowned, or struck by lightning, we shall be picked up by some giant and kicked sky-high for a football.”
One of the Stone Giants in the first Hobbit movie.
 
And from down the same book (Chapter 8 Flies and Spiders): “There was a noise like the kicking of a flabby football, and the enraged spider fell off the branch, only catching itself with its own thread just in time.”
 
Not only did the dwarves know about a football, the fact that they know it is supposed to be kicked seems to indicate they played it themselves, or at least saw it being played. Thorin Oakenshield is the only Tolkien character that personally mentions the attribute of the sport. Who knows, perhaps Thorin was the striker in the local Thorin’s Hall “Ai-Mênu FC” football squad. Nah, surely he was the manager with Bombur in the goal and maybe one of them quick hobbits up front.
 
Seriously though, why does Tolkien mention “football” at all in his works? Well, most likely J.R.R. Tolkien (who wrote The Hobbit for his young boys initially) wanted to put a few familiar objects into the text.
 
So, go out there and enjoy the World Cup and just imagine Thorin shouting by the sideline and Bombur getting the golden glove award. 
 
By the way… one rule if you wish to post reply to this post, YOU MUST tell us who your favorite team is for the upcoming world cup.  
Mine is….. BELGIUM (what did you expect folks?)
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About The Dwarrow Scholar

My fascination with Tolkien began early, with a battered copy of The Hobbit given to me by my uncle. I read it obsessively, then reread it, and when I was old enough to own a Walkman, I even recorded my own cassette version so I could listen to it while cycling to school. Long before the internet made information easy to find, I spent countless hours in libraries, hunting down anything I could about Tolkien and, in particular, his Dwarves. That early fascination never really went away. Over the years it developed into a sustained and structured engagement with Tolkien’s legendarium, especially the Dwarvish languages and cultures. Under the name The Dwarrow Scholar, I focus primarily on Neo-Khuzdul, Tolkien’s notes on Dwarves, and the careful expansion and teaching of those ideas in a way that respects both the source material and linguistic plausibility. Through www.dwarrowscholar.com , I publish articles, reference material, and language resources, and I also give structured lessons in Neo-Khuzdul to students. What began as fandom gradually grew into long-term research, teaching, and writing. When I am not working on Neo-Khuzdul or answering questions from fellow Tolkien enthusiasts, I enjoy time with my wife and son, revisiting well-worn Tolkien paperbacks, learning languages, watching a good film, or unwinding with games like The Lord of the Rings Online and other Dwarf-adjacent distractions.
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2 Responses to Goal! By Thorin Oakenshield

  1. Yswllyra's avatar Yswllyra says:

    Fantastic! I’m so glad to read this – and I am particularly pleased that it is the dwarves who mention it! Thanks for the fun post

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    • Yswllyra's avatar Yswllyra says:

      And whoops I forgot to mention my football team. I was going for Australia. Alas we were swiftly kicked from the competition (pardon the pun)

      Like

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